REVISIONS

Don't look back but I have been assiduously revising almost all my posts, which means if you read them once you might want to read them again to see if they are any better. Most of the revisions are quite simple-- a word here, a line there. It's when I GET INTO CAPITAL LETTERS and start disparaging the entire venture where I really don't know what I am doing or what I am trying to accomplish. It's as if if I revised this enough it would turn into something real beyond its idiotic masturbatorial premise. The fact that I have taken a new post to tell you this is not a good sign if you thought you were through with me. I am feeling perverse. I may just write some more posts because I can and in my own twisted logical fashion they are saying something. My overall take on what I have read so far is one of abject disappointment. Not nearly funny or significant enough. I have not learned the hat trick and don't really know whether it can be done and if so why. On the other hand there were a couple of good lines and riffs here and there so it's not totally hopeless. In a rare personal aside I can tell you that the rest of my life has been pretty much a disaster during this silence and getting back into it might just function as a sort of B=12 shot, which might not necessarily make for absorbing reading but if it makes me feel better, who the fuck cares what YOU think? Don't insult your audience. You're back to four and I actually got an anonymous comment (at least so they said) from someone who though this was weird fun. So don't forget that even if I get pissed off periodically, I love everybody. I love the world. I love doing this. Sometimes asking why only causes trouble.IT'S A FEW WEEKS LATER. I HAD SORT OF ABANDONED THIS VENTURE BECAUSE IT CAN'T GO ANYWHERE. NOW I AM HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT MY SECOND THOUGHTS. THE FACT THAT IT CAN'T GO ANYWHERE IS WHAT MAKES IT WORTH DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE IF IT IS WORTH DOING (Shall I ask my now down-to-three followers?) AT ANY RATE THE REVISIONS WILL HAVE TO BE REVISED.THEY ARE DREADFUL-- WORSE THAN THE ACTUAL TEXT. WATCH THIS SPACE.THE FAT LADY MAY NOT HAVE SUNG.

PLAY IT AGAIN, SAM

If you loved this particular inane post, read it again. I've moved the inanity around a little. Have a nice day.

ALZHEIMERS

I just edited another earlier post and it was not nearly as bad as others I have edited. Editing a blog about nothing is an experience that can be as interesting as writing a blog about nothing and writing about the editing may get us through this interminable dry period.

Another Goodbye

I just edited an earlier post. It was worse than my wildest dreams. I thought I would pass that along. I will only post my reaction to edits when they are truly dreadful or truly outstanding, which seems about as likely as a fish doing the macarena.

last post

For reasons far to complicated to explain this may be my last post. The rocket ship doors are sliding shit and I fear a long and tortuous journey. Farewell to my loyal friends and God Bless whatever deserves to be blessed.

p.s. it is not inconceivable that revisions to older posts might still continue.

EDREGS

IT'S INCREDIBLE HOW I GO TO THE POST BEFORE THE LAST ONE I EDITED AND A DIFFERENT ONE IS THERE. I DON'T NOW WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING. MAYBE THS IS POST-MODERN. OK, the thrill is gone. Being blogg for a month or two did not give me a blue uniform and a red cap.It did not improve my writing skills or increase my popularity.It underscored to me the difficulty of REAL writing, which, if I have the courage, I may attempt again. But it will be about something. The nothing/something is wading pool existentialism because the something you are avoiding isn't really anything to begin with. YES IT IS, IT'S NOTHING. We don't even know if blogs are anything to begin with other than ego and klackety klak.So we call it a day. Nice experiment. The best thing about it is having a half-hour built in to the beginning of your day, like praying, where you know exactly what you are going to do. I could throw in a couple of ENDs and FINISs now but, knowing myself, even though I am declaring blogg over, I will probably spend as much time on the concept of "over" as I did on the concept of blogg- probably to give you a fruitful end. I am, however, going to continue going back and reading and editing: first, because I had misspellings, repetitions and any writing that is less than the best I can do which isn't that great in the first place. And second because I may discover ingots in the earlier posts which can be blown back into flames and will postpone the end, not that the results of it are likely to be very different. I could go on for paragraphs thanking the keyboard and shit like that so why don't we call it a day (for now, still a day, not a blogg) and I will go back and re-examine my buried treasures while you (assuming there is anyone out there decide why you have spent all this time reading this shit. I AM STARTING TO GET THE IDEA THAT HE IS GOING TO GO BACK AND EDIT SOME OF HIS EARLIER POSTS FOR SOME REASON. DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE THAT FEELING?

eBAGELS

AS SAID BEFORE AND WILL BE SAID AGAIN I HAVE TOTALLY LOST TRACK OF WHAT I HAVE EDITED AND WHAT I HAVE NOT EXCEPT FOR THE E'S I SOMETIMES REMMBER TO INSERT AFTER THE EDITS. BUT SINCE THE EDITS ARE SO MEANINGLESS AND DUMB AND JUST ADD ANOTHER LAYER OF NOTHING, WHO CARES? ONWARDS.Another illicit glimpse into the personal life of blogg, although he rarely has bagels for breakfast, though that is no less a personal glimpse than if he did. The point is that he blogs first thing in the morning and that is true. When we started, blogg assumed that providing a good text was the key and the process secondary. Midway (a quarter of the way? three quarters of the way?) blogg realizes that he has come to enjoy the process of blogging much more than the content of the blog, which may be part of the popularity of the process. We have spoken ad nauseum of the klackety klack. But there is also the logging on, the foolish questions about do you want to post now-- no, I want to engage in sex with a starlet, the semi-thinking about the blog during morning meditation and the semi-thinking about how one shouldn't think about anything but meditation during the morning meditiation. The fleeting feeling that so few people are going to read this, why bother? The strong feeling that that's precisely why. A blog is an appetizer for a meal that never comes. It is letting strangers in to your underwear buying process. It is a chess game with no checkmate, just an infinite series of checks. It bears neither more nor less importance to the other things in the rest of your life since when you die, your blog, your book, your symphony, yourself go somewhere out of your control. It is the effort of appearing effortless about something that requires a great deal of effort. It is trying to reason your way through an unreasonable process. It is a psychologist's field day. I don't know what it is but I do know it is something or I would not have just typed the word something. Something includes nothing. Nothing does not include something. A Greek must have said something (nothing) like that. It is he end of today's lesson. Tomorrow will be growing tomatoes in inhospitable climates.ONE OF OUR BETTER ENTRIES, NO?

EBACK FROM THE MUZZLE

SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OUT OF ORDER AND NOW UTERLY USELESS EDIT.I akipped another day yesterday for personal reasons (that you will never know about, ha). But this was a scarier skip than the previous one-- a why the fuck go on with this, no one is ever going to see it skip.OH MY GOD! I had to pull myself back into the middle ages (literally and figuratively) and remember that there was a time that people wrote things because they wanted to or thought they should be written and sudience was the furthest thing from their mind. Audience was not the furthest thing from my mind when I skipped yesterday, but today I feel a hale and hearty fuck the audience. I have given myself a job to do-- write intelligently and obscurely in a medium I hardly understand- and I am going to achieve my end even if it ends me. Now that I have made that clear, I have nothing to say, which is how things should be. No I do have something to say.I have the determination to say nothing. Nothing is the lack of something. But are particular nothings the lack of particular somethings or are the terms all generic: there is one nothing and one something. I do not know this yet. Perhaps I may discover some clues in the writing of Blogg. Having nothing to say seems to have stopped very few people on the web even though their nothings are allegedly about somethings but anyone with half a brain knows they are just ego-driven bullshit. Blogg is at least open about it, but will undoubtedly be tossed off by all the people writing critical things on twitter. Blogg will stick around for a while like one of those melodies you don't really like or don't like. but just can't get out of your head. It will not die for lack of substance. It may die for lack of trying, but I have jumped another hump and perhaps with each hump I jump the job gets a tad easier. Or not.CAN I STOP POINTING OUT INCOMPREHENSIBILITY AND JUST LEAVE IT THERE TO ROT. IT'S A BORING EDIT.

eHARD

NO MORE MENTION OF FACT THAT I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE FUCK I AM IN THE EDITING PROCESS. What I have learned: writing about nothing is much harder than writing about something. There are always more things to write about: people, scenery, cars, feeling, but when you eliminate them all because you are going to blog about blogging and nothing else, your mind freezes because it has nothing to seize on but itself. This can sometimes lead to a state of depression. Why aren't I writing about my first water polo experience (maybe because I have never played water polo). How much time am I going to waste continuing this nonsense, time that could be better spent with other nonsense which under my rules I cannot enumerate. Just be assured that it would be a very high class of nonsense and you would be very impressed, if not stunned. I was confident when I began this that I could do it indefinitely, careening off events without saying what they were. It's harder than I thought and the events I would be careening off aren't that interesting so I don't have much incentive to feel bad about careening off nothing at all.I AM NOT CERTAIN WHETHER THIS ALL MAKES SENSE OR CONTRADICTS ITSELF A valedictory note has crept into my last few posts. I think I said it was the beginning of the end recently and it might be the middle of the end now. A lot will depend on what editing the old posts shows me- either that this is much cooler than I realize or that the whole thing is a waste.OR THAT YOU REALLY LIKE THE SOUND O CLACKETY CAK I can't even figure out whether I should tell you to read THIS front to back, back to front or sideways.WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THER WOULD BE A DIFERENCE AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK ANYBODY WOULD LISTEN TO ANYTHING YOU SAY AT THIS POINT? THE AUTHOR BEARS NO RESONSIBILITY FOR THE NONSENSE THAT FOLLOWS, HIS MOTHER WROTE IT, OR THE DOG. Maybe every other sentence. If I wrote not another word, I would have proven something though not necessarily something worth proving. But I have written another word: gargoyle. So I am good for now.