getting serious

When I wrote the title to this post, I realized halfway through that I was still in lower case though I wanted titles in upper. Given the subject matter I am dealing with, why should that matter? Why should anything matter? (you're too old to be asking that). Seriousness is sort of like Einstei's cosmological constant, which I still don't understand despite having read two of Brian Greene's fine books on physics. But I think I get the jist of it. It may be the wrong just but it still illustrates the point. Seriousness is a sort of particle that gets into things whether you want it to or not. It can even get into so-called funny things. It fills all available space with its meaning, which is that whatever you are reading is something you are not supposed to yuk about. I fail to see anything serious in whether I lower or upper case my title but I approached the subject as if the fall of Rome depended on it. Point: the more I do this, the more (secretly, but it's our little secret)I think this is something to be taken seriously. This contrasts directly with the initial direction we took where the whole point was not to be taken serious and leads us to: I want my non-seriousness to be taken seriously. This sounds strangey like Becket or a French existentialist, neither of whom I have read.
The reasons I want my non-seriousness taken seriously are complex and may involve events of a personal nature which I am not going to reveal. On the other hand, they may involve nothing at all other than another LA march into a swamp which I am happy to reveal before you get your feet wet. If you are smiling as you read this, you are fine. If you are not, you need examine your frown and determine whether it is LA related.If it is, you are in deep shi and certainly I, the author cannot save you even if I could. I am aware that that last sentence makes no syntactical sense whatsoever but it sounded so good I couldn't resist. I probably could torture into makeing some sort of syntatactical sense but I don't want to wander off on too many tangents. We still have lots of work to do.

ASTERISK

In case anyone is mad enough to be going back and re-reading earlier blogs looking for revisions, I have left the most egregious fixes in capital letters and what they have fixed belongs to the ages.

ESAD

I HAVE LOST TRACK OF THE ORDER OF THE REVISIONS. DOES IT MATTER OR DOES IT JUST CONTRIBUTE TO THE GENERAL CHAOS?For no particular reason that I can think of, aside from the general circumstances of my life, I woke up sad this morning. There is also the possibility that I picked up some kind of bug. I often have difficulty telling the difference betweeen physical and psychological afflictions unless I run a fever or shoot someone in which case it becomes more obvious. Does my informing potentially millions of people of my condition (although right now the count is four) go against my goal of writing only about the blog? I don't know for a fact that either of these afflictions, if they turn out to be afflictions will affect the quality of the text. If they don't, then I would gratuitously have given away a state secret, so to speak. although since murder and fever are still possibilities now, I think an alice-in-wonderland court would give me a pass. Non Sequitur. I've now gone back and read three or four of the first blogs and edited some of them (not to worry, your favorite passages will most likely remain unharmed).THE ONLY WAY YOU COULD HARM THEM WOULD BE TO BURN THEM Typos, repetitions, sentences too stupid even for me have been sent to their electronic home deep in the bowels of my computer. But I did decide (which is not the same as making a decision in blogspeak) that I would edit old blogs as I wrote new ones. (Did I already tell you this ten times?) Early blogs will be marked EDITED at the end when I remember to do so. This creates a slight chronological problem. I edited some things out because they promised things that along the way I decided not to deliver. There will also probably be references to things in the earlier blogs that I decided to kill but not until I referred back to them. I plan on doing this at least three or four times, maybe more if it turns out as I instinctively feel it will, though this may be my faulty mathematical sense at work,the distance between each new post and each edit should gradually shrink until some time in the 22nd century I will reach a point where I have nothing to say and nothing to fix. My computer comes with only a two year warantee so I am worried. I am even more worried about the warantee that I come with since I can think of nothing so unfair as to slog you through this shit, then leave you high and dry (or low and soggy) in the middle, not knowing how it pans out. I will therefore make you this pledge: if my death comes mid-sentence (a cerebral hemorrhage or something like that), you are fucked. I am fucked too but that is not your problem. If I feel myself coming down with a debilitating disease but can approximate the point of my demise, I will put together some sort of smash-up ending or just stop writing and edit what I have written so you will at least have edited non-completion which is better than non-edited non-completion, which feels to me like walking nude in a blizzard. (You have to think about that one and it might make sense). Anyway, I don't think there is anything you need to worry about now, since it may turn out that I am neither physically or psychologically ill. If I murder someone I don't know if they will give me a computer in jail but I will smuggle in an iphone or something. Is everybody happy? ASIDE FROM REPETIOUSNESS, THE GRACELESSNESS OF THIS POST IS TRULY ASTOUNDING FOR ANYONE WHO HAS COMPLETED FOURTH GRADE

eIncipient Crisis

Someone I know only marginally but whose opinion I respect a great deal told me that they liked LA today in such a way that it seemed that they really saw what I was trying to do, whatever that is. These are the sorts of unexpected hazards one runs into when one tries to communicate non-communication. I am flummoxed. I would be lying if I said the compliment didn't please me, but I would be false to my mandate of isolation if I did. Well, maybe not. Is it possible for me to accept someone liking and understanding my words when their purpose is meaningless? Probably not exactly. But author is not a saint and authors, even authors of meaningless texts get a charge out of sharing their work. This raises a question which I am having a very hard time articulating AS OPPOSED TO THE GRACE WITH WHICH YOU HAVE ARTICULATED ALL OTHER QUESTIONS. LA is, of course, a cockeyed quest for pixelly love masquerading as a cockeyed quest for meaninglessness. Using what I remember of high school algebra, if you cross out the cockeyed quest in both sentences, reducing to lowest terms, you get love=meaninglessness. This was not remotely what I had in mind when I started LA.(FIND HIS HIGSCHOOL MATH TEACHER AND KILL HIM) If anything, I would have expected to end on a note like the only real thing in the world is love and I have blown it by wasting all my time on shit like this. But there is something tremulously true about love=meaninglessness. Or maybe it works better as meaninglessness=love.(OR MAYBE IT WORKS BETTER AS CANTALOUPES EQUALS TRUCKS) One of the clauses may have been gramatically negative.WHA? This is all a complexity or ridiculous and erroneous misreading of language much too deep to analyze fully in one post.YES, LET'S GO THROUGH THIS BULLSHIT 560 TIMES There is a faint chance I will come back to it tomorrow but it is more than likely that I will be distracted by something like a large piece of dust on the window sill.EVEN A SMALL PIECE WOULD BE A GREAT IMPROVEMENT But that tells you I write in a room with windows. I have to be careful about blowing my cover. THE AUTHOR DOES NOT THAT IT'S NOT REALLY A WINDOW BUT A TOM D'OEIL OR HOWEVER YOU SPELL IT OF WEST 17th STREET And it is suddenly obvious to me that the only place this can all lead is to madness.lEAD TO MADNESS/ WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU STARTED? But that is to imply that it started from somewhere else and that madness has a beginning and an end. Infinite madness. LA will not die until it has used every pixel and letter in the universe. And even then it won't be dead. It will just be silent.AND EVERY ATHEIST IN THE UNIVERSE WILL DROP DOWN TO THEIR KNEES AND THANK THE LORD.

emornings in manhattan

WE CONTINUE OUR RELENTLESS DOUBLE EDITS. IF I UNDERSTOOD CALCULUS OR BASIC MATH, FOR THAT MATTER,I COULD PREDICT WHAT DAY THE EDITS WOULD CATCH UP WITH THE NEW POSTS. AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN THEN/ I HAVE NO IDEA BUT IT SEEMS LIKE AN INTERESTING NOTION. I WILL PROBABLY GO BACK AND DO IT A THIRD TIME OR COMBINE THEM. OR I MAY GET A DOG INSTEAD. I REALLY WANT A DOG. I HAV INADVERTENTLY KILLED THE START OF THIS ENTRY. I'M SURE IT WAS NOT WORTH SAVING ANYWAY BUT LET US CONTINUE, CLASS.Oh have revealed. And what would a good or even mediocre psychiatrist make of all this; first, the concept, wrter/patient writes long piece without revealing anything of his life. And then LA iteself, can this be done? HE'S BEING ORIGINAL AGAIN. NOTE THE DIFFERENCE IN MEANING BETWEEN THE SENTENCE THAT PRECEEDS THIS INTERRUPTION AND THE ONE THAT FOLLOWS IT. THERE IS NONE. THERE IS NONE ANYWHERE. Can you write a long piece without revealing anything of your life. No, a good shrink(ACTUALLY A BAD SHRINK WITH NO BUSINESS) would get in there and word by word analyze everything I am trying to hide including the mass murder I committed when 13 (just kidding). HA. The psychiatrist then might ask why the writer, who while not Faulkner,(NOT FAULKNER/ WHAT PLANET DOES HE THINK HE IS LIVING ON/) does possess talent sufficient to take on more than this electronic parlor game, has chosen to squander it in this fashion. Has he spilled his seed on the ground? A session might begin: "And what did you do today?" "I wrote in LA?" "What did you write?" "I wrote about nothing and you know I told you when I started therapy I would give you no back story. I needed you to tell me what it was."
"You are playing a game and hiding yourself from me. What exactly are you hiding?" "Would you say I was hiding the same thing from you that I am hiding from all other readers? In that case my effort is a triumph.THIS MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL But if you think I am hiding something special from you then I think you may be in need of help because my hiding is finite and there is only one level of it, so, with all your degrees you are grouped with everyone else. I think it would be great if you could reconstruct the writer from the blog, from little details dropped here and there. (MUCH OF THIS IS DIRECTLY QUOTED FROM FREUD)Then when the blog is discovered and declared a national treasure, you can come forth with the name of the writer and a wickedly smart paper on it which will make your career. All right, you are giving me that "tell me what's really happening intense look that melts me. It's about my mommy and my daddy." "Which one...." "Neither."MOMMY AND DADDY ARE HAPPILY IN THEIR GRAVES.

EGood News

I have just edited my second post which I assume hardly anyone has read. It is less awful now, less redundant. I can see my then self groping toward the sublimity he has now discovered but did not have the wherewithall to let fly at the beginning.ENGLISH TRANSLATION IS VERY EXPENSIVE THESE DAYS. Actually, very little is different. It is the sort of editing I would do on a manuscript. Just cleaning it up. I think the new system will be to do a new post and then go back and clean up or even eliminate another one. There is a reason for this. It is the quest for perfection. Perfection does not require a subject.PERFECTLY INCOMPREHENSIBLE, OUT OF PLACE, OUT OF TIME, OUT OF HIS MIND. THE THIRD EDIT GO ROUND WILL BE DONE WITH A PAIR OF ELECTRONIC SCISSORS.

eErureka

I can never be certain but I believe that Literal Ally contains all its entries and that I can edit them and they will stay in their proper place. I wrote 'ENTRY FROM THE FUTURE' on one of the early ones and it stuck and the entry is still in its proper place.GIBBERISH. So I can go back and edit, though neither of us knows (nor probably cares)PROBABLY1?? if it is a good thing. I also realized that my previous edit test may have been on a post that I thought was the first but was really 5th or 10th. The only thing you have to know is that we seem to be in control as we go out of control.WE SHOULD NOT ELIMINATE PSYCHIATRIC INTERVENTION.