eCRISIS IN THE TOYBOX

Once having decided to embark on this insane venture, one would think that if the writer had any decency whatsoever, he would try to make the reading for people who wander in as pleasurable as possible, even if the results are pathetic. If he doesn't have readers he should make it is as pleasuarable as possible anyway, in case he goes back and reads it. LA is not masochistic.WHEN I REMEMBER I AM GOING TO START CHANGING LA TO BLOGG. I KEEP THINKING OF CALIFORNIA ABOUT WHICH I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS It does not want to depress itself. I am stuck on the audience factor. I feel now like a trapeze artist who has done a triple somersault with a flaming flare in my mouth to an audience composed primarily of blind people. But the performer thinks: "Who cares if anyone else saw it? It's the best performance of my life. Shouldn't that be enough satisfaction in itself?" Yes. it should be but it's not. The performer/author wants people, friends and total strangers to come over, pat him on the back and salute his magnificent achievement. LA realizes that this probably takes him out of blog world and puts him back in the disgusting environment of conventional publishing where it is not enough to do something great, it must be acknowledged by the New York Times bestseller LIST. Otherwise, one might question the point of continuing. There would be a point (and I believe I have said or implied this before)9(only 15,000 TIMES) if there were a valid point inherent in the writing itself. This is all starting to become tedious work for me (I can barely imagine what it ust be like for you if there is one) and it is hard to imagine anyone going past two or three posts, saying, "I get the idea. Next," and proceding to read something less idiotic, which is about anything.And yet, and yet, and yet, like a Bruckner symphony, there is something about length itself that changes the nature of the thing that is in lengthening. Hopefully two or three posts may be boring, but two or three thousand posts may be so boring that it crosses over into astonishing. I have yet to receive a response from any of my dear readers,(THAT IS NO LONGER TRUE. I HAVE NOW RECEIVED TWO UNDOUBTEDLY FROM SICK PEOPLE) but if one of you is technologically adept and knows how to take this from the millionth level of readership on the web to the 999,999th, do tell me.(IT'S EASY ENOUGH TO FIND OUT. THIS IS SHEER LAZINESS IN THE FACE OF TECHNOLOGY THE AUTHOR DOES NOT UNDERSTAND) What is the point, exactly?" The point is that I am going to continue doing this until OUT OF SHERE ORGANIC EXISTENTIAL BOREDOM A POINT ARISES. And when will that be? TODAY SEEMS UNLIKELY. Perhaps when someone buys me a large sticky bun and it mucks up my computer and makes it impossible to continue.