eSHARE YOUR LIFE ON LINE WITH A BLOG

That's what the copy says where you post this stuff. Is it true? Am I sharing my life? No, I am sharing the detritus of my life, but just as if you scrape aound in the bottom of someone's trash can you can get to learn a lot about what brand of toothpaste they use, I am probably unconsciusly dispensing clues about my fabulous life to all who who don't mind sifting through avocado shells. My life has many other parts too, but obviously some parts are lacking to send me day after day to this screen to obfuscate them. And if you were to learn about my life, how would that change things? LA would then become another piece of fiction or nonfiction and you would file it accordingly. Perhaps you would use it in your reading group. I imagine long silences during which more than average coffee and cakes would be consumed. Some brave soul would say something about the character (me) who really thinks he is not character but with every fact he withholds gives clues as to who he really as as surely as someone God in the Bible. If there is a teacher in your group, God help you, because surely he would create a character by cracking the symblisms embedded in the text and discover that I was born in New Orleans,which I was not, am really a best selling author, which I am not and and analyze how all of this is true and none of it relevant. I could be Kafka if I weren't not Kafka.Is LA just a comedian's monologue? If it is, it is completely and it's more pathetic than funny to me. Effects, however, when they do randomly pop up, make me happy because they seem closer to constructive literary productivity, something which I aspire to but am absoutely unable to achieve. LA has a psychological ailment which makes him more desperate than the average person for love of other people and perhaps this is his way of asking for it. Love given from reading LA would certainly be unconditional which is the best kind of love because all you have to do is sit there and make cooing noises while people hug you and do other things with you that make you feel good. The writer could, of course, make these efforts in real life (he rarely does) ratter than going for the million to one odds that he will achieve it herein. But achieving unconditional love in real life is hard whereas achieving unconditional love in LA is just nearly impossible. So I play the odds. The theme of loneliness flits throught these pages like a fresh southeasterly wind and that is valid. But when I am aware of it I send in a cold front from the northwest, dispel the smog and become chipper again. There is no room for depression in LA. Depression belongs in diaries and shrinks' notebooks. But if LA comes from a place where I write it before I can even think it how can it be trivial? How can it be less than essential, at least to me? How can my determination to walk through forests, cities and oceans in a straight line be viewed as anything but cockeyed bravery which must eventually be noted and rewarded even if only by the author. If we were walking from New York to California now, in the author's mind, we would be entering Pitsburgh, a fine city from what I have heard. I shall try to describe it in imaginary detail in the next entry provided that I read the last page of this one. (YOU DIDN'T. YOU DON'T) I may ask my merry band of readers to send me reminders which may or may not help. Why wait? Pittsburgh has a lot of gray streets and some hills, some fine universities and is near water (is it one of the Great Lakes or the Allegheny River or neither). If I were writing this in Pittsburgh, which I am not, would it be any different. WAIT, THE OFFICE IS IN PITTSBURGH.Possibly, if one believes that one's external environment effects one's internal environment, something so obvious that I am instinctively skeptical about it. I do not like the word "influence." Beethoven did not "influence" Brahms. Special K did not influence NewTotal with a full day's supply of all necessary nutrients. Things slide beside each other and are oblivious or the blogosphere would be filled with incoherent rants like this which, for all I know, it might be, thought it would be hard to imagine that my 3 followers are that influential. I see two of their pictures. If I count myself as the third, then the fourth would have to be a cross between Oprah and Obama to exert a pull like that. This seems highly unlikely but not completely impossible to me in the same way that quantum mechanics cannot definitely tell us that an atom cannot puncture a 100 foot thick lead door, something to which my brain shows an uncanny resemblance. You must all be exhausted from out trip to Pittsburgh. We will probably stay put here before we take to the road again, Relax and thank you, good reader for accompanying me, It would not have been the same without you.THE IDEAS IN THIS POST ARE THICKER THAN USUAL, BUT SO IS THE INCOMPREHENSIBILITY. BUT GIVE THE BOY A B FOR DETERMINATION, WHATEVER THE CAUSE.