eIN THE MOOD

If the blogger is sad, does that sadness enter into the post and vice-versa. And can nothing be happy or sad. These are the issues, dear reader, that will occupy us this morning. My short answer is yes. There may be a long answer if I do not get distracted along the way. Having just scanned a few posts, when I dawdle on about self-doubt, what are you doing, is this worth it and shit like that-- that would qualify as a sad mood. Whereas, what an incredible work of genius, turning the web into a reflecting mirror of itself and the sheer physical and psychological strength it takes to do something as loony as this would be the blog equivalent of happiness. I mention all this because I am feeling a bit under the weather today and did not get to do my post immediately after my meditation but had to get to work, shut the door and here we are. The loneliness involved in this enterprise is not always easy to take. Some bloggers get thousands of responses so they don't have that problem. I have not yet gotten one, not even an insulting one, so it feels a bit like whistling in a very dark room. Sometimes the sound is scary, sometimes sweet. The key is (and I know there are hundreds of zen stories with a similar outcome) to just keep whistling and let the listeners take care of themselves. There will be moments, say a month from now, where if I have not heard anything from anybody it will be hard to continue. Hard but not impossible and it's amazing how far sheer cantankerousness can carry you. So coming back (and I did not get distracted) sadness shows long term over a number of blogs just as happiness does. My job is to confuse or rather fuse the two into a light beam which simply keeps the blog going. My personal moods are much too informational and confessional to be dealt with anywhere outside my psychiatrist's office. I have given him my blog url but I am fairly certain he has not read it, getting enough of me in the course of a week to allow him to take a pass. The song translation of this entry is "Sometimes I'm happy. Sometimes I'm sad." This no doubt enriches your life. I want you to see how I struggle with quality control, sometimes more successfully than others. Perhaps tomorrow I shall awaken whistling a happy tune.GOOD WORK. POSITIVELY READABLE.